This Girl…. and My Feelings….

Meghan and I

This is my daughter, Meghan.   You will be reading a lot about her as well as my three sons Zachary, Carson, and Grayson.   My children are my world!!  I have heard people say that before,  but I never truly knew what it meant until I was in the position to relate.  Meghan is my oldest and my only girl.  She is now in college. She was accepted to Appalachian State University for the Spring semester this year.  We got her all moved into her dorm in  January during the time we were also planning the funeral for my maternal Grandmother, “Minga”.   Meghan had Spring break last week. She went to the beach for a few days and then was home the rest of the time.  Even though we had a very tense time on the day she left for the beach, I was so excited to have her home. The transition of her moving to college has been a hard one.  I never realized how different and lonely I would feel.  As Mother’s and Daughter’s naturally do, we have our moments.  Even through those moments we are as close as we can be.  I feel whole when she is here.  Something is missing when she is not.  Thankfully,  My Mom, through example,  taught me what it is to not only be a Mom but the transition of moving into that best friend part of our relationship .   Having Meghan home this past week made me realize that we are definitely now moving more and more into that time in our relationship.  We spent time talking about things I would have never talked to her about  only six months ago. I felt like more of a helper to her than a teacher.   We have had the normal  adjustments, arguments, crying spells, silent moments, etc. that go along with this time in our lives.  I can tell that Meghan is trying to figure out what it means for her to not only be independent but to also be my daughter.  I am equally learning what it means for her to be not only my daughter but her own wonderful person.  When Meghan left this morning I think it hit me more than it did the first day I left her in her dorm,  that she is in the phase of growing into the women she is supposed to be.  She is going through the normal growing pains of  independence, relationship changes, new friendships, realizations through trial of her morals and values, and…… as we all know this list goes on and on.  I am so very proud of the women she is becoming.  She is not only beautiful to look at,  but also to be around.  Even though,  I miss her terribly, think about her constantly, have crying spells of not even knowing what I am feeling,  and worry more than I should;  I know she is going to make her Dad and I proud.  This Girl…. is My Girl… and I am more proud of her and love  her more than she will ever know.  I look forward to seeing what her future is going to be and how our  relationship will evolve through all of the stages it takes her to get there.